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[30 Oct 2005|07:16pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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typing |
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my dreams are having me feel something completely different from what i should. i cant take steps back. i cant. and theres nothing for me to do about it. i need to get out and do something tonight..or, tomorrow,. that would be nice. any day, just mainly tonight and tomorrow though..
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[19 Oct 2005|01:03pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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diary of dreams |
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so i get to hang out with amber tonight.. get all dolled up. put some eyebrows on haha i getta play dress up and im all giddy with happiness and all that.. gay stuff that i used to have. i couldnt sleep last night.i get to take pictures of my belly today and i will be taking pictures of ambers belly too =D and i need to go potty.. shower.. and get ready
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[18 Oct 2005|04:50pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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cold |
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allright bitches, i got a cell phone finally so if you want it, let me know somehow or call kevins askin for it. other than that fun stuff, i got back from port huron and that was.. allright other than a bit of the fighting. i know its not going to last long but im still biting my tongue and trying. i cooked breakfast today... and it was totally random. waffles, eggs, and hash browns. i throw up every so and so still but its gettin better. its mainly acid and bits of blood but its all normal. i get to go to the doctors thursday! yay and get my ultrasound, more blood work, and see whats up with the horrible pain that shouldnt be happening. but i get to see how far allong i exactly am.. yaaayy
so im gettin jimmy on food stamps like me because were fuckin cool and love our ramen with HUUGE PICKLES...never will that sound right either..
i had a dream about someone that i shouldnt be dreaming about, because when those dreams hit me.. it hits me hard. and the last time i had seen this person was in august?... i think it was. when i woke up from the dream i knew why i could of had it of him.. but i dont have the slightest idea anymore. its makin me go crazy because i cant think of why.
so were fighting again.. wow i really do wonder how long we are going to last..nor do i really know what to think about all of what goes on. i feel like a walking zombie..
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[12 Oct 2005|05:31pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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ill neno |
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i love it when i ask him whats wrong, and he lies. one of those lies you are able to notice. too many things are running thru my mind to understand whats in front of me. i try to sleep more and more each day so i dont have to wake up and realize that there is no food around to fill the pain thats making me sleep in the first place. i am running out of options to do, and i never really thought the saying of 'if you dont eat you will forget most of what shouldnt be forgotten' was true, but that theory kicked me in the ass. i have a doctors app. tomorrow and 0130, ill be having to drive to 19 mile and hayes?, ive been trying to pray for the luck of not having anything happen, but then again praying has done nothing these past few weeks. its been a good while since the last time i drove was, and thats allright. the house, that should of been finished a long time ago is still a horrible wreck, not yet ready for anyone to live in it, yet we are. somehow i have the strength to smile, and say everything will be okay. my family is trying to be more supportive.. my dad actually is begining to talk more and more with me, when there is something to say, and hes happy for me. my mom, is still upset with me but shes biting her tongue.
michaels cousin tanielle is helping us with the wedding.. more than he is himself. he just seems to find more things to do so he can say hes busy. im going to hopefully get extensions in my hair so i can fool people having them think my hair is long and not dead hah. i havnt picked a colour yet. i will get my nails done and get my eyebrows fully done hahah so not a single hair will be there. the only sad part about this planning is, we wont be able to plan a honeymoon, unless some of the friends of family members give us some moneys. or, if mike makes enough, quick enough. but who knows. its with black people.. lots of them i guess so let see how long this job will last!
im going to hop in the shower, and try to nap in there. my escapeland.
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[09 Oct 2005|03:10pm] |
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mood |
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quite pissed off |
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music |
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cold |
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all who dont know the latest news : im gettin married nov. 16th to michael tinney - been together for.. 9.. some odd months. and, there will be a new addition to our little family, thats right kid time. it should be coming out in may sometime.
other news! we feel like were on the wheel of fortune... kevin sold my car by him thinking i didnt want it. that he thought i just wanted to get rid of it and get a smaller car and not fix it up. so let me see if my logic can match with this. sell my car that i only needed to put about 75 moneys into it, or, buy a whole band fucking new used car for 7500. what, the fuck. yet, when he knew my thoughts afterwards, he didnt fix the problem. oddly enough when he could of got it for 500 or more most likely, he got it for 200 mother fuckin bucks. and where is that little bit of cash going to? ....bills. so since my crazy family car got sold, whoever knows of someone that is selling a car for cheap, please inform me.
again, other news : michael and celest had to go to court for apt bullshits that was years ago, and a lawyer threatened him and called him a pussy. whaat the hell is up with that. she should of went off on him. haha but she bought me food which i thought was very nice of her due to mike and i havnt had much to eat in the past week. except for the empty carbs that are in the house. but hey, im at a size zero now, but my boos are still growin so ohwell. ill gain my weight back eventually.
michaels lookin for a job so we can get out on our own and have time to ourselves... while it lasts =X =(
allright ive been cravin pickles.. i live at 9 and hoover now.. oh yeah i moved. anyways, someone, please send me a pickle hahah. my food stamps card hasnt came yet, when it should of about 2 weeks ago.. it really pisses me off. i need my foood ..err ..rrr
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[27 Jul 2005|03:23pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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soap show is on |
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what happened over the past few days : mike and i got into a fight. he chucked a box of tampons at me and yelled mean things. went out with laura and got drunk,. yay. today, found baby black kitten outside my door. kevin knows the previous owners, and i guess they put a box of litter, food and a thing of water out the balcony and kept the little guy out there, a few days later ( i dont really know the time he was out there for ) he got the balls to jump off.. and here today comes i find him and now hes sleeping on my chest. hah. sad thing is, i cant have a kitten so if you would like one, let me know please.. my other kitty baby does not, get along with the kitten. nor is she getting along with me. ohwell.
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[15 Jul 2005|10:03pm] |
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mood |
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my computer has crashed completely awhile ago, and mike and i have been bouncin around from place to place which sucks. weve been fighting like normal people. but whats new. ive been trying to see quite a few people who are wanting to see me, last person was jimmy, which was a while ago. im back at kevins for a while while i save up moneys. you guys might not hear from me for a while because im working 12 hours everyday. and i have a long weekend ahead of me so i better get going
kevin mike and i are going to trixies tonight, i got them obsessed with the coffee hahah. so whoever all i know and wants to see us, go up around 11ish
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[13 Mar 2005|10:52pm] |
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mood |
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crazy |
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music |
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mikey talkin |
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staying there is an excitement
gotta love it
so im happy and i am loved and i love them.
mikeys and my birthday is comin up. if i was a guy, i would so be him. and he would so be me, its crazy.anyways back at the other home. :)
<33
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[26 Feb 2005|05:37am] |
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crazy |
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Thursday |
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and im still alive, but not on the streets so i think im somewhat good.
lyndsay i will call you soon! i was actually running around trying to find your number earlier today so hopefully i will find it now and call you at a normal time. or a time when you would be up.
anyways thats all i have to say for you fucks
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[07 Feb 2005|09:55pm] |
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mood |
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LALA PSYCHO!!!! |
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music |
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london after midnight |
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so ive been really sick within the while, first i was 103? little higher i dont really remember, so i was layin there then crawling to the bathroom because since i was laying there for the good .. 20 hours or so hahaha my legs.. were deff. past gone. so i had to crawl. like a freak.. wasnt fun. so now my temp is 94.. and im going a lil on the lala psycho side. and i have bronchitis. cant smoke, well not suppose to so its helping a little bit.
steves moving his stuff in here i think now. i couldnt really pay attention to what kevin was saying. like i said.. im on the lala side, and i was thinking of a female that he is still suppose to steal for me. clea devall. played in that one teacher movie.. uh, had josh heartnet in it.. a chick that was an alien..that movie if anyone knows what im talking about, the grudge, and but im a cheerleader. i dont remember any of the other movies..and i watched but im a cheerleader two nights ago.. it was awesome. shes so .. yummy. i cant reaaallly think of a name for what she is right now. but it puts a smile on my face. but i want kevin to steal her, so i can have a 12 hour almost legendary fuckathon..=D hahahah i guess, thats the only way i can think of right now.. but theres more to it. just not her looks. personality too.. but anyways im going.. and shutting up because i need to pppaaccckkkk
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